On this text
The Great Teachings of Larry is the only surviving piece of devotional text known to have circulated within the Larry Cult during its active period. The document is anonymous, written in the third person about Huge Larry, and was almost certainly assembled by an adherent rather than by the godhead himself. Larry produced no first-person scripture, and no surviving witness to the faith has claimed authorship of this text.
A single copy was recovered from the ruins of a Larrist chapel in the days after The Night of the Veil and the Sovarre explosions that followed it. It was logged into evidence by the Bureau of Religious Oversight before the Blaze forced the Bureau into hiding, and is reproduced here from that archive.
The text is reproduced in full and without correction. The missing portion of Chapter II is preserved as it was recovered; the chapter itself was incomplete or damaged before the surviving copy was made. Several of the text’s claims (the cosmological claim that Larry created the gods of the Conclave of the Silent Forge, the Umbral Communion, and the Weavers of the Verdant Thread; the narrative in which Larry “brought justice” to dissenting Caldorans) are theological assertions of the movement and not historical record. For the full doctrinal and structural treatment of the faith, see Larrism.
The Great Teachings of Larry
Chapter I: Foundings
F. I — Huge Larry founded all things. The ground, the water, the air, everything we lay our eyes upon. Everything of all lands was Larry’s great doing.
F. II — Larry saw the world and created great beings tasked with overseeing seperate parts of the lands. Volkar and Kaelix of the Silent Forge. Nethrys of the Communion. Sylhara of the Weavers.
F. III — Larry was content with this, so in this he created life on the lands and in the ocean and in the air. Bringing both flora and fauna to the great world.
F. IV — After years went by, Larry went down to the people of Caldora and spent time with the people in his physical being, bringing great peace to the nation.
F. V — Then the evildoers began scheming an evil plot to bring down Huge Larry and taking all power.
F. VI — The people of Caldora became confused and started worshipping only the gods Larry created. They were influenced by the evildoers and were lost to their evil.
F. VII — Larry saw this and brought justice to those people.
Chapter II: Miracles
M. I — After a congregation at the church of Huge Larry in Exovia, his spirit appeared from thin air and led them to the holy grounds.
M. II — After receiving the holy baptism, the receiver grew in size after praying for it.
M. III — Many men bet on all black which is seen as lucky by the Larrists, they won the bet after praying to his picture.
(this section has been lost to history)
Chapter III: Laws
L. I — You must Gamble.
L. II — You must drink Alcohol.
L. III — You must not submit solely to other religions and not recognise Larry.
L. IV — To be a Larrist you must first receive the waters.
L. V — You must be an original gangsta mf.
L. VI — You must not be boring.
L. VII — You must always be a Larrist.
L. VIII — You must accept a party invitation by any and all Larrists.
Cross-references
- Larrism (the doctrinal and structural treatment of the faith)
- Huge Larry (the godhead)
- Amlooi’s Diary (the only first-person initiate account, recovered after Amlooi Alvaldi’s death)
- Case Filing - The People v. Huge Larry (the consolidated criminal case against the cult’s leadership)
- The People v. Huge Larry (the trial that ran while the faith was still active)
- The Night of the Veil (the assassinations and the destruction of the chapels in which copies of this text were kept)